Friday, 12 March 2010 | By: AbhiLaSH RuHeLa

I'm Ashamed Of Myself !!!

           153TH BLOG -->>

        I entered my classroom yesterday, On the first bench- Two girls were sitting and arguing with each other..and one of them was standing there to support one of them..and everyone from our class were standing there as some magic is being shown..Suddenly the things went bad and rather than the problem getting solved , it became worst..Everyone was clapping on the dialogues of that girl who had a girl with her in her support..and that girl who was the opponent was left all alone..All the 24 children of the class were at one side and that 1 girl was all alone...I felt so sad for her at that very moment ki I felt like meddling in their conversation and ceasing all that nuisance in one flick..But I dont know which power stopped me..I just hate that power...I just hate myself to be coward..I just hate myself to see that unwanted scenario..I just hate myself to be so bad human being according to what I did at that very moment..

             Why do we realize some facts after the time is passed away? Why dont we get the beautiful ideas when the time is there to react and balance the dithering situation? Why doesnt our brain works when It can really bring some revolution? I dont know the answers but I do know this ki We are the one who set this limits on our brain to work only till certain extent..Why dont we cross boundary and behave extra-ordinarily? Why do we behave like same selfish human beings? Why do we think about our smile, happiness and peace? Why dont we help others for their happiness and peace? This is when we should go and stand infront of the mirror and ask several questionss to ourselves that What have I done after taking the birth on this earth so that I can feel proud on myself? And then you will realize What a bad person you are..who haven't helped anyone without demanding anything back either directly or indirectly...My best days goes in satisfaction when I help a stranger..Either by telling them the right road so that they can reach where they want to..or by helping a man to catch the local train so that he / she can reach their spot at the time..Once a balloon of a small child went in the middle of the highway and he started crying..and everyone there were waiting for that balloon to be bursted beneath the tyre of any vehicle..I was sitting on the backseat of the bike and I asked my father to stop the bike, he stopped and I crossed the highway..Picked the balloon and gave it to that poor child whose mother can't afford second balloon for him and that was the day when I felt like I have achieved the greatest success of that year.. And yesterday when all this happened I was quiet...The stones were thrown on that girl , everyone was clapping at every hur she was getting and I was standing and watching...I'm ashamed of myself..

                Yesterday, when I returned home after this incident , I felt like killing myself...I was just thinking about what that girl would be feeling at that time in her home..She would be feeling very lonely..She would be needing someone's support..And there is no one to hold her hand and tap her shoulders ..I have faced the loneliness very closely in my life and so I can understand her feelings..and as I was her boy-friends once so I can feel her pain more evidently..I just want to say SORRY to her with whatever punishment she will give to me..and I want to say Sorry to Sai Baba for watching a girl being insulted and doing nothing against it...PLEASE FORGIVE ME

        ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU 

7 CoMMenTs !!! - U CaN aLSo CoMMenT !!!:

Wilshire Dias said...

Well Sai Baba was in an important business meeting and he didn't hear your apology! Instead he'd want you to go upto that girl and apologise to her for not being there for her when you needed her. She'll feel better. And even Sai Baba will be pleased with you. And no one will pick on her again. In a fight there's a person who is right and another who maybe partially right or fully right according to his point of view or just totally wrong. It varies. But one should not advocate. Instead one should neutralise the quarrel. Since you clearly did mention the girl was your ex, I think I know her. Is she the same slut Umera? Now why would you show her sympathy? I'd try to kill her after college! (I know I'm reacting wrong, but I do not fully know the dynamics of the relationship you once shared with her.) And please dont say "a girl was being insulted." I strictly dont like men who show too much chivalry. Girls was to be treated equal. So be it. The 'she' becomes just another person, like all of us.
I too helped a person in need, like you did with the kid. There was this village boy who climbed into the first class compartment of the local train. Unfortunately for the first-time traveller in locals, a ticket checker entered in and started to check us all. The poor guy had a proper ticket but it was the one for the general compartment. The guy pleaded to be left as he didn't know about it. He didn't have the money to pay the fine and he was on his way to see his sick sister in a hospital. He said he could not spend the money he had because he needed it for his sister. The TC yelled at him and told him not to move and he's be taken to the police. He began sobbing. As always, there were just a few people in the 1st class compartment. Everyone was peering to know the developments in the tussle. The worst part was when, along with the TC, the other people were abusing and instigating him. He was badly humiliated and he could do nothing about it. My blood was boiling and I could clearly feel the adrenaline rush in my limbs. I had enough and I told him that I'll pay his fine. Luckily at that moment I had a few thousands. I was going shopping then. So i angrily growled back and angrily sneered back at everyone attacking him. I loudly said " 1st compartment me 3rd class log ho tum!" The guy was almost in tears and he thanked me. I walked him out and from there we parted ways.
See, its never too late to do a good deed, Go tell her that you were confused at that time, but you will stand by her. She'll like your gesture :)
Oh i forgot to say this in yesterdays comment. You may be happy to get your PAN card Veer, but I don't have much on me! I dont have a license, yet I drive and ride! I don't have a proper ID, yet I do late nights sometimes! I don't care to take a ticket sometimes either! And the most hilarious of all, my bike doesn't have brakes either! (seriously! and I almost met with an accident on the 10th of this month!)

Wilshire Dias said...

There seems to be an error with the comment posting. It often gives an error and the comments are not posted. And I have to re-try. This may also be preventing others from posting comments too. Rectify it ASAP.

angie said...

hey...dont be so hard on ur self...sometimes these things happen...i know u are not a bad person...you can always say sorry to the girl in person and try to be helpful to everyone around you in the future..

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Wilshire,
yaar sorry,Even i face the same problem while replying to the comments sent by u all..but i cant do anything ...ita not in my hand..I can just say sorry to the inconvenience u all are facing..Just forgive me..I have nothing to say...

and Wilshire, Im happy to read ur incident about the first compartment and how u helped that boy..I really respect u for this....aajkal logo ka yahi kaam hai..they just need a scene to be created so that they can enjoy the drama...and I just hate these types of drama when an innocent is being thrashed out in public..I have nothing to say on this topic as the whole blog was on it..but I would say u that keep up with these types of help...U will grow day by day..kyuki duaaye aur badduaayein dono insaano ko bahut tez lagti hai..

and man, Yaa the girl is Umera..but this time she was innocent so I felt bad for her ..else her character is still the same in my mind and soul..and man..in the start of the comment u have said sumthing abt saibaba..I just want to ask u that..were u making fun of my dedication towards baba or u were trying to say sunthing else? if u were making fun..plz dont do it next time for any act related to saibaba...

and man ur last para is great..hahaha...its really fun to read theses type of activities from u..I really go mad laughing reading ur these types of activities..u r really a cool guy....chal fir..Im not on the blog from two days..bcoz of sum problems...but will cum soon...chal fir bye..

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Hey Angie aunty,

Thanks for publicizing me as a good human being..hahaha..Actually auntiji that was a moment when I really felt bad for myself..I dont want to be so actless wen I can see injustice going on with sumeone..I feel like raising voice..and that day I kept quiet which lad to character assassination of that girl..so I was so hard on myself..as there was nothing...even on the next day...she was sitting quietly in the class.no one was talking to her...So I was really very sad for her..even the girl is not so decent..but this time she wasnt wrong..and auntiji thans for reading and commenting..

Wilshire Dias said...

Oh no! I was not making fun of your of your dedication towards Sai Baba,neither was I making fun of Sai Baba. Through that comic line I just wanted to project how people ask for blessings when they need any favour or any work needs to be done. And at other times they forget him. Just as you asked Sai Baba to forgive you. But you failed to see that it was your doing, and even if you ask Sai Baba, you are still responsible for your actions and you should have accepted it with a strong heart. If people commit sins and keep asking for forgivness does it mean all of us are sinless creatures? I hope you get what I mean. But I still say I didnt say anything hurting or derogatory. It was just meant to be taken in healthy humour. We all need to be a little less serious!

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Uff..Sorry Wilshire...As I took u wrong way..Im really very very sorry...

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