Friday, 7 January 2011 | By: AbhiLaSH RuHeLa

Being Middle-class is Being Tortured !!!

           365th BLOG -->>

       When you are born in a middle-class family, the only thing which you are taught right from your childhood is to save, adjust and shrink. In the childhood, your parents try to boycott all the roads, galli and kucheys so that you don't demand costly toys. When you grow little more elder, they try to avoid all the shops of cloths as you may demand a costly one which may result in heart-attack to your parents. When the child grows in such environment, he has only one priority in life i.e. to save money and don't be friends to the kids of high-society people as their company may cause bankruptcy to you. You are always given less amount of pocket-money so that you don't spend lavishly and you don't get addicted to something which is hard for your parents to spend. In such conditions, you turn out to be more mature than your parents and you know what adjustments are and what the real money is.

             As you grow up, the only desire you have is to be rich so that you don't face the problems which your parents had to face. This happens generation to generation. Your parents thought the same by seeing the lifestyle of your grandparents and now you adopted the same ideology which your parents adopted and your child will do the same. If your father is manager, you always dream to be bigger than him. If your father is businessman, you always dream to have much turn-over than his company or business did. If your father is a carpenter, you always think of building a showroom of furniture. This ideology comes to show the parents that we are bigger and richer than you. This doesn't develop in any bad and evil propensity but this happens because you want to show the parents that this is one of the way which you could have adopted to make yours and my life better than what it was. You also do it to give your parents what they never experienced or handled. If your father has driven a bike, you try to purchase a Car to give your father the pleasure of sitting in a Car. If your father has spent his whole life in 1 BHK flat, you try to purchase a 2BHK or 3BHK Flat. So, there are two rationale why you want to do better than your parents. 

              This is a general condition of a middle-class family and a middle-class children but the main problem and difficulty arises when a middle-class child thinks something beyond the confinements of the thoughts which are traditionally pre-defined. Every child knows that he has to study well as there is no back-up from parents, then he has to attain a good job and earn well so that he can feed his children without any glitches. But when a child dares to think about being something which is never thought of, there are hundreds of allegations towards him. If a child says that he wants to be an Actor, Director, Model, Fashion Designer, Cricketer, Player, Entrepreneur etc, there are dozens of relatives and family friends who comes to push you back and show you the reality and your status. This effects many children to draw back and live the same kindle life as designed by grandparents and parents. 

              I am facing the same problem. Why? Because I want to be a WRITER. The day I declared this in my house, the confusion and frustration amongst the mind of my parents started. A fear that their son may fall down badly and hurt himself began. A doubt that our middle-class son can be a writer developed and thus the whole process of problems, lectures, scolding, pushing back, brainwashing began. Even when I started Blogging, everyone in my family and family friends raised a doubt on my regimen and asked me to stop writing and blogging. I thought to combat everyone and keep doing what I want to. This decision has been fruitful and today I am whatever I wanted to be through my blogs. Actually, I am more than what I thought and expected and desired. Now, my parents fear and cant even think that there can be a book with the name of their son as a Writer in this world. I will have to prove this. I don't know how many weeks or months or years will it take for me to prove that my dream and my desire was fruitful and effective but I have decided that I will never forget what I claimed to be. I know this is out of the world for my middle-class family but when its thought it has to be done and brought to a conclusion. 

              Everyday there's a lecture about why don't I concentrate on my programming as I am learning computers. Why don't I try to go into details of computer and languages of computer rather than reading about writers and books. One day, I think I will make my parents know and all the middle-class family know that if the oath is build up of Birla Cement jismein jaan hoti hai then its not hard to fight for it and achieve it. There are many middle-class child we know who are world-famous today. I am just fighting for getting a Success which is already half-achieved. At least I am an acclaimed blogger today. Even if my life ends here, my parents can say that not book but his Blog - ARB was present in this world. 

             I am fighting for my big dream and I want every middle-class child to fight for their big dream and let these middle-class parent know that its possible to be high class if the dream is seen with the eyes wide open. 

             Thanks.

ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU   

18 CoMMenTs !!! - U CaN aLSo CoMMenT !!!:

Harman said...

parents always think in a conventional way ..as per the ideologies..given by forefather..they want best for kids,most of the time they torture them self...for kids..To my mind kid shld be given one opportunity the way he/she wants it..before giving a decision..you write pretty well ..and have all ingredients of a good writer ..need a proper platform and some cushion ...But "mere dost pic abhi baki hai"
:) you must complete your studies AND be professional in every way as a back up plan if one doesn't work..
jus a humble friendly advice..
tc

Kumar Bibek said...

Very very true.

Well, not only the parents, but the society as a whole stops you all the time.

A friend of mine wants to be a director, and a wanderer, and although his parents seem to have accepted his decision, we, his friends don't take him seriously when he starts talking about all this. We just say, "Oh, shut up."

Salman J said...

Dude There are gonna be people who r gonna tell you that you can't. What you gotta do is turn around and say "watch me"

Salman J said...

also dude.... its easy to criticize d choices made by our parents but much more difficult to imagine filling in their shoes !!
someday when u start running d family u shall realise dat what they said and did was nothing more than what was expected of them... and buddy compared to their childhood ua still living a blessed n privileged life..
aas u mentioned tht those who want to improve their lives bettr than their parents -- to here's ma answer dude--- i wud b eternally Grateful to God if i manage to become half the man my father or uncle was or achieve half their accomplishments under the circumstances under which they were brought up... they say that satisfaction haults progress but buddy remeber this too that too many complaints makes u ungrateful n never become Ungrateful for what u have !! strive for a better future but also respect the glorious past that u had !!!
thats all buddy :)

The Generalist said...

i chose to be become an entrepreneur but havent seen much success,, its always important that you keep an alternative.. because in these paths there are millions of talented people, but only a few will make it.. and its purely luck..

S.R.Ayyangar said...

Nothing is impossible if you have the dream and passion in you. Keep the flame burning and success will be yours.

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Harman mam. u r right.. and the thing u said about back up is right..but this doesnt means na k I should do it only when I get job.

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

U r extremely right... Kumar Bibek

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Salman, I agree to what u said...

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

The Generalist,

U r right sir..

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

I am happy Ayyangar.

Kul Bhushan Garg said...

All parents wish that their children should study well,choose a good career and rise in life.This is natural. U may be a successful writer in future in view of ur determined approach but this time meant for achieving higher academic qualifications,will not come back.So u have to maintain a proper balance between ur studies,and ur urge for writing.Do not neglect one for the sake of other.
Wish u all the best !!!

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Hmm...

Priya said...

There are times when writers were treated like animals without publishers. I know many good writers who were leading a miserable life in their later lives. But now things have changed.

And the kind of writer you wanna be will surely hold the reader and pull a good amount of publisher. But you also should consider your parents advice and complete your studies. Coz you can never get back to ur student life afterwards. So dnt get overloaded with the thought of being a writer.

let the thoughts come down through ur writing. It's hard to live upto the expectations of parents but once u do it, it gives immense pleasure.

All the best.

nikhimenon said...

all the best for you

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Thanks nikhi.

soulcare said...

So truly noted about middle class ! V are like that only ! Wishing you all success in your endeveour !

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