Sunday, 2 January 2011 | By: AbhiLaSH RuHeLa

Her First Kiss - How Much I Miss !!!

            363rd BLOG -->>

        I still remember the day when she kissed me for the first time. I was weeping incessantly as we were leaving each other without knowing that when will we meet for the next time. She was acting to be stronger and tougher but my tears made her tears to roll out. Now, both of us were crying and we had no words to explain our desire and feelings. She never kissed me before that and I never thought of doing this. I closed my eyes for a moment to control my tears and I found that her lips were touchnig my right cheek. I opened my eyes to check that whether this is the imagination of my subconscious mind or this is happening in my real life which I never thought of. I had no guts to look into her eyes after the first kiss from her. I felt very shy. I didn't spoke a single word. I went to the station to drop her and she left me with a last hug. I kept crying for the next 24 hours.

            After leaving each other, the only support we had was our Mobiles. We kept talking to each other for hours and hours. Our relation grew more stronger than before. We started respecting and loving each other more like never before. She asked me to stop crying and to be happy in life. I told her that no one has given me such a love like you have blessed me with so I can never stop weeping when you aren't with me. I started sending her gifts on all the festivals which were meant for our relationship. She used to love my gifts. On my birthday, I asked her to sing a song for me. She agreed and with her small voice like a 7 years old girl she started singing - Geet gaata hoon main, gungunaata hu main, maine hassne ka vaada kiya tha kabhi, isliye ab sadaa muskuraata hu main. I never heard this song before she sung it for me. I asked her that why did she sing this song for me and the reply was that once I promised to laugh and smile but I didn't fulfilled that promise as I kept crying even after that. This made me weep and cry because no one cared in such a way for me in the time that passed.

           Our love became so stronger that we never cared about what world would say about us. The only thing we cared was that we will not hurt each other because of misunderstandings and arguments. But, life and time planned something else for us. She started sending few SMSes to me. She started excusing by giving the reasons of her father being strict and her mobile being into maintenance. I controlled my feelings and pain for some time but finally a moment came when I understood that she is least interested in me and my life. I don't know what changed her but I understood that no one in this world remains the same. Time changes, season changes, people in your life changes and so the heart of the person changes too. The example was She and her heart. I cried a lot and I asked to be the same what she used to be but she was not interested anymore. She just said that I am the same and I love you in the same manner but it is not possible for me to chat with you through SMSes always. This simply meant that she didn't wanted to talk to me. In past, she faced many problems because of our relationship which she handled properly and kept loving me as always but this time she was in no mood of continuing the relation with me.

             She left me alone. I don't know the reason till today. I am still wandering for the reason. I have no problem if she wants to leave me. I have the problem that why can't she tell me the reason for which she left me. Today, I am just thinking that should I bow down and wish her a Happy new year and resolve all the matter and come together again. But then I think that why should I show her that I am missing her when she don't care about me and my life. I just want to tell her that I know I hate you for many reasons but this hatred can disappear if she will come back in my life with the same passion of care and love she had for me after that first kiss of our life. I know she loves me but because of the lack of communication and the heap of ego in our relationship she chooses to remain away from me and my life. I know she wants to cry too like I want to. I know that she wants to hug me tightly like I want to hug her. I know she wants to share that diary milk with me as she used to. I know she wants to scold me whenever I do any mistakes. I know she wants to chat with me on google talk as we used to. I know she wants to send me long mails as she used to. And I also know that she wants to Kiss me again in the same way as she kissed for the first time.

            I hope that 2011 will help me and her to come closer by leaving our past behind and accepting our present. HOPE !!! HOPE !!! HOPE !!!

           I STILL LOVE YOU.

Your Veeru - Come Back. I hope you are reading this. I can't write more. Sorry !!! 

17 CoMMenTs !!! - U CaN aLSo CoMMenT !!!:

Harman said...

oh ...hoo..this was SAD..A happy ending was expected, but seems like a wish not fulfilled...Friend keep in mind a true Love will NEVER leave you ..no distance can keep them apart..SMS or google mail is nothing if your love is strong..the personal liking makes distances much shorter then expected!
You have many milestones yet to cover..this experience will make you wiser and a better loving partner in future.. keep smiling ,life is much more beyond that..
Cheers for now!!

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Thank u mam. u have helped me to smile.. U have helped me to be stronger.. I was turning weak but ur comment had that effect which made me think that why sud I be sad.

Salman J said...

Kya BAat hai !!
understand ua feelingz bro......
but den werent u d one who encouraged me in my bad times??
so i ll return ua favour this time with one of ma priceless gems---
Dont Chase Them--Just Replace Them!!
but on a more serious notes..... Fairytale endings r not meant fr us.. why?? cuz v r d ppl bout which legends r made of...
dekh zamaanaa ye hai k log Meri Misaal {Example} dete hai....... ab ye bhi zamaanaa ayega k dey will give ua example...
koi pyaar kare to apni tarah nahi to kare hi nahi
cuz sum1 truly magnificiently said--
to love is d best thing but to love n lose d next best!!!
parting words never meant to b forgotten-- 'I Love You,BUT'

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Wow. Thank u buddy... Bcoz of ur comment I just remembered ur case. Now I am feeling more stronger.. It feels so happy that the friends like u and supporter like Harman mam are there to make me feel happy and not lonely. awesome. thanks a lot.

Salman J said...

no worries man.....
tension lene ka nahi... i kno its easier said than done.... take it comin from a man who's been dere n done it all....

nikhimenon said...

may be you can watch the tamil film 'vinai thaandi varuvaaya' by gautham menon.
heard ts being reae in hindi with pratheik babbar in the lead role..may be yu wil feel gud after watching it..


neways leave the past behind yu and move on dude....!

The Generalist said...

dude she found another guy, its that simple.. anyway long distance relationships dont work... always remember that one who is out of sight is out of mind

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Thanks Nikhil

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

I think u r right Generalist.

Divya Virmani said...

Hmm...Quite interesting! I read all the commnets but don't quite agree with all of them. There can be a concrete reason of her seperation from you. So, accept the seperation and let it be...

It's easier said than done, but no harm in at least trying...

I hope you find a loving and understanding partner in 2011.

Priya said...

At least u have a hope that she might come back... wat about someone who left us without uttering a word n we all r left behind helpless and hopeless. I'm wishing, begging, crying n waanna die but he can never come back.

I dint wanna write this but y everyone is so sad around me or it's my sadness tht I'm unable to take away their sadness.

Thanks for visiting and thanks for ur valuable comments. Hope u find ur way soon.

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Divya mam, I dont want any partner just for the sake of having a partner.. I want a true girl for me... who really want true love and will care for my feelings even if she dont care for me.

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Priya... I m really feeling bad for u.. Just keep your strength with u. i am proud of u dear.

Anonymous said...

Hy seriously u made me cry...... Its really vry sad 2 hear ds bt dts gud dt u still hv hope 4 ds.... bt its nt jst ur case d same happnd wid me 2 n i thnk we shd nt cry 4 d 1 who dsnt care 4 us... keep smiling n try 2 move ahead n ya if u lost her dn ds means dt u hv still a bttr gal in ur lfe u ll really care 4 u.... Hope u find her soon...
Megha

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Thanks Megha for reading this and I am happy that u liked this.

Anonymous said...

im sure your an amazing guy and any gal would be lucky to even think of being with you i have read yur blog completely n its so cool...luvd it.. if her luv is true she wl cum fr sure...bt if nt..
i knw its hard to digest bt everythng hpns fr reason dear...juz keep moving n you deserve d best...
keep smiling n b happy dear...

- Lovely :-)

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Thanks for giving a light of hope.. hahaha

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