Thursday, 22 December 2011 | By: AbhiLaSH RuHeLa

Keep Speaking, I have set the Volume at 0 :-)

           504th BLOG POST -->>


      Yesterday, one friend of mine didn't slept for the whole night because someone doubted him and his work. He has recently started interning with a Sports site- Sportskeeda.com and he writes articles for them. He gets a good satisfying amount in return for his work. He sits at home, with his spine straight for flat 5-6 hours and complete the assigned job given to him by his boss. Yes, he sits straight for 5-6 hours because he works on a PC and not on the laptop. First, he has to research everything related to the topic he has to write about, then he starts writing, then he edits it and finally sends it to his boss. If he likes it, it is well and good, but if he rejects it, he has to rework on it. This is his regular job. But, when he tells about his job to others, he just says "I earn by working at home". Now, people underestimate the effort made by the person and they give their opinion without thinking of the sentiments of the person. Someone poked him and he started feeling depressed by the insensible criticism. 


             He tweeted this last night- "Tbh I can't move on after receiving scathing criticism. I hate it when some people make their own assumptions about the amount of work you do without exactly knowing how hard it is actually. I won't be able to sleep until I get this right. :| These guys are like - you work at home, you don't need to go to an actual office & so your life is so fucking easy. Yeah, try doing it. :|I respect all of my friends who have supported me in whatever I've done, even though it's not exactly what everyone expected me to do. Now, what do I call those guys who doubt me every time I venture into something unorthodox but come asking for a treat if I do well in that?I read it and I had words with him this morning and he started feeling fine after that. I have been at his place for numerous times in last 2.5 years. When you do something on Social places, people obviously judge you.I have written 500+ posts till now, do you think I always get positive comments for each blog post? NO. I have heard such kind of downcast words that it almost made me take a firm decision of discontinuing Blog because people always misunderstand me. But, as we say, Parents are God, they came every time to me whenever I felt low and asked me to continue because I have potential and one day, I will surely do good. 


             Regular criticism on you and your work makes you weak. Initially, I used to get depressed because of the comments I used to receive. But, as I started getting it regularly, my heart and emotions petrified and now, I just take them positively or if they are personal, I ignore them. If I have posted a topic and people didn't liked it, I accept it with a smile without worrying about it a bit. But, if people start judging about me and my character just because they didn't like my work, I just filter it out from my mind. If Sachin Tendulkar gets out at 0, that means he didn't batted well. We should comment on his batting rather than making personal allegations on him that he has fixed the match or he has turned older. So, rather than getting personal, we should comment only on the work if we have problem with it. And when we get such comments, we have to be hard enough. I choose the best step against this. I just avoid reading such comment once I get to know that it is something about a personal allegation on me. Why to read it fully? Just to get depressed? Now, I take all these words as a routine. Today itself, I got so many weird comments on me where people doubted even if I'm a pure Hindu or not because they didn't liked the topic of my blog- Let Gita be Banned. I wanted to send a message that even if some people find it insensible, you don't feel bad about it, you keep respecting your holy book but people called me stupid, moron, knowing nothing, just writing for the sake of writing, immature etc. I just didn't published those comments because those were personal remarks. Rather than this, they should have talked about Gita with me. I would have appreciated that. If this would have happened with a first time writer or a performer, he would have quit then and there. But with an experience, I learnt how to overcome these allegations.


            I gave an example to the same friend who felt depressed after receiving personal allegations- Shahrukh and Salman Khan have been rival from last 2 years. Salman Khan, regularly, mocks Shahrukh whenever he gets a chance. Whenever he is on television to promote his new movie, he says something indirectly to Shahrukh with the support of his friends who are judges on those shows. If Shahrukh would have taken these jokes seriously, he would not have attempted a movie of 150+ crores- Ra.One. The movie became a disaster and everyone made fun of Shahrukh. Shahrukh would have gone into depression. First, because of the personal allegations Salman makes on him. Second, Salman is banging the Box Office since two years and all his movies are breaking records. Shahrukh can take this as a severe insult and sit quietly. Third, all his good friends are leaving him because they find Salman more genuine than him. But, see Shahrukh and his will to give his best. He is unstoppable and interminable. He is coming with the same confidence in every movie even when he knows that his movie will be unable to break his biggest foe's record and people will create jokes on him again. 


            This is how we will have to handle these allegations. Never let yourself feel down or low just because someone feels that you are incapable of doing anything in life and you are not worth performing.Many people said to my friend- Rohit that he will never study in his life when he got failed in 12th twice. Today, he his in BBA 3rd year with no back subjects in any semester and his overall percentage is above 60%. He didn't took those personal allegations seriously. He kept working in the same manner and today, he is successful. I gave these examples to my friend too and he started feeling good after it and he thanked me. We talked and he said that you can write a blog post on it as many may take these allegations in the same way as I took them. So, I have written this post. And anyone of you, who is suffering from this, can try to avoid inputting any of these allegations in your head and heart. Just work with the same passion. Let people speak. Until and unless, your parents are OK with your work, keep them up. Let me give a very best example to all of you- See our Indian media. We abuse them so much for the nonsense they show us but still, they are confident about the stupidity they show. :-) And more over this, we still watch them and they are successful in gaining stipulated TRPs. :-) Hahaha. I don't think you need any kind of example or advise after this. :-)


           Thanks.


ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU

10 CoMMenTs !!! - U CaN aLSo CoMMenT !!!:

Life Unordinary said...

Hello from a fellow and former Mumbai-ite!

Anonymous said...

Nice title...good one !!!! yes i agree people keep on appreciating n critcising...sometimes with a positve approach n in limits n many times with a negative approach n crossing the limits...it is always up to us to decide how we should handle it...sensible n positive critcism can turn out to be fruitful but yes insensible criticisms with personal allegations is something which should be avoided...
Anamika..

Anonymous said...

Well said!! Some people have the habit of getting personal and abusing others, I feel that such people are not happy with themselves or their lives so they keep trying to insult others, in order to calm down their ego. Let me give you my personal experience, I started playing chess at school level in standard 9th, I won regional, state but lost at national level severely. The moment I reached back everyone were after me, they said I am a loser and I gave away matches in nationals but I still had faith in myself so I tried next year again but same thing happened I lost again in Nationals but I realized my performance had improved considerably. My detractors got yet another reason to insult me, they started insulting me every time they met me. But you got be mad if you want to succeed because people will say " you can't do because they couldn't do themselves". 11th passed same result and then 12th was the last year of schooling and I had decided this was the ultimate chance to prove myself not to others but myself. I gave my best, defeated a two time national champion and went on to become National Silver Medalist and got a sponsorship of Dorabjee Tata Trust. I am sorry that I made this comment personal but I just want people to learn a lesson from this story. At times, its better to become shameless and focus on your goal rather than wasting your time in replying your detractors. Keep working hard, the same detractors. Those idiots will hail you as the next big thing, once you succeed, what you are striving for. Believe in yourself, you know yourself more than anyone else..... Abhilash buddy I must say your blogs are really awesome. If you keep writing, then no one will stop you from being a great writer....No doubt...

PeErLeSs2aCmE

Anonymous said...

Good one dude...and the examples are awesome...SRK one is very inspirational one..... :|

and first time replying for a comment......
PeErLeSs2aCmE ..... Congrats for ur achievements...Hope u will become another viswanathan anand for us.. :)

Keep ON..

Raja..

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Hello to you to Mumbai-ite :-)

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Yes Anamika. Whenever the work of a performer is to be judged, judge only the work and not the performer.

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Abhisek, Amazing. Wow. Exactly what I tried to say in the post. Wow Wow Wow. Congrats. :-) You did it. :-)

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Raja, yes SRK is the best example which caught my mind when this concept came in my mind.

Saurabh Chawla said...

correct...even I have failed many times in Engineering and listened to all those shit .......but never gave up.......and now I have completed my MBA also.:)

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Saurabh, Congrats.. :-) U r an achiever. A Warrior. :-)

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