Thursday, 23 February 2012 | By: AbhiLaSH RuHeLa

Keep MEMORIES in BRAIN, Not in PHOTOGRAPHS, IDIOT!!!

            547th BLOG POST -->>


       From last few months, there have been many instances when my friends have asked me to get the photos clicked while those moments when we were enjoying something which we never enjoyed with each other. Every time I abused them and made them sit quietly rather than take the snaps of those moments. My only reply to them has been: This is the moment which is meant to enjoy with each other. Why to waste some time of it by getting it snapped in the pictures which is not going to make us happy henceforth? But their reply has been: Abhilash, once we will be a Graduate, we will have nothing else than a marksheet to remember these moments. So, by clicking these pictures, at least, we can get back to these days and smile. I don't understand the basic logic behind this reason which they give me. I have been in relation 2 times. I don't see the pictures of both the girls periodically, but I have their faces as clear as possible in front of my eyes. I even remember each and every moment I passed with them. I have no video recordings, I have no voices but still I remember how they used to walk, talk, how their soothing voice used to flatten me, how their moving eyes used to move the direction of breeze for me, how their beautiful hands touched me etc. I don't need any photographs to remember their faces or the moments I have been through. I have met Chetan Bhagat, Sudeep Nagarkar and other writers, I have never asked them for a snap. Because I wanted to rejoice that golden moment rather than wasting a bit of it by getting my pictures snapped with them. 


            I have one more problem with photographs. It don't let you move ahead in life. It keeps you in those moments itself from where you started your journey. If I'll go into the Post-graduation course and I'll keep seeing the pictures of my Graduation time and Junior college time, I can never move ahead with life. I will keep missing those friends, those campuses and those funny moments. But if I'll keep all those photographs away from my life, it will make me easy to go through new challenges. I remember a friend I had in Aurangabad. One day, I asked him about his mother. He said, she is no more. I said, sorry, as usual. Then, I asked him if he has some picture of her with him through which she lives with him every time and encourages him to move ahead. He replied emotionally,"Abhilash, I was 10 years old when she left me. I was in 5th std and I remember all the moments when she loved me, fed me, scolded me and punished me. I have her face and touch so close to me that I don't need her picture. And her pictures will only add pain in my life. So, I have burnt all the pictures I had of my mother with me. I have kept none." I had tears in my eyes when he ended, I hugged him and both of us cried. That was the day when I realized how painful the pictures can be. 


             A next instance, one of my friend called me to college in Nashik. He asked me to be there urgently. I went. He started,"Buddy, I have some very serious problem. If I would have shared with someone else, whole college would have known it within one hour. But with you, I am sure that it will be between us. I need to tell you something and lighten the weight I'm carrying in my heart." I nodded him to speak. He began,"Abhilash, you know that I and Rupali have been together for last 6 months. Everything has been fine between us. She cares for me as a girlfriend should. She is exactly how I expect my partner to be. But there's a problem. Yesterday, her parents were out of town. She asked me to be there. And you know why (now, even my readers know that :-)). After doing all those love making events, I started browsing her computer while she was getting dressed up again. I found some pictures of her schooling days and 11th std. Man, she was too close to some people. Different boys had their hand in her waist in different pictures. I am just too shattered after seeing all this. Some of them even carried her so comfortably that I think whether her character is appropriate or she had it with many of them. I am in big dilemma about this relationship and the kind of connection she had with those boys". 


            After hearing this, I felt the case so obvious. Any boy who'll see that his girl has been very close and comfortable with other boys in the pictures, will feel insecure. In other case, even girl will. Let the Trust be 200% but still a doubt of 1% can overcome it. Don't you think so? See, you can be comfortable with boys/girls. But don't make it immortal by getting the picture clicked and getting it rotated among all the friends' computers that it can never be wiped out from your life even when you want to get away from your past. Even I am too close with all the female friends I have in my life. But I make it sure that when a picture is being clicked by someone, I am in that posture which shows that we have maintained distance with each other. I may walk with them hand-in-hand, that is our comfort level. But the boyfriend they'll get, the brother who can see these pictures anytime, the husband they'll get married to and the son they'll give birth to can obviously take these pictures and friendship in a negative sense and they may go into depression. I remember when a cousin sister just told me that I visit malls with 3 guys sometimes, I was like- Maa ki *****. I knew that something may happen. But I never saw her pictures. And I am happy about this. At least I don't have any dirty proof of it. Right? So, make it sure that you don't get those pictures clicked.


             Today, I see on Facebook that almost 80% of collegians have an album named "Goa" or "Traditional Day" or "A trip to so and so place". Now, when I open these albums and stalk the photos, I find them in quite cozy-kind-of-moments with the person of opposite sex who is just a FRIEND. Now, I don't have a problem with their comfort level with each other but I have a problem that why to show this to 700-800 Friends on FB? Come on, you don't become a dude by placing your hand on girls' waist in every other photograph and neither do you become a babe by falling on a smart-and-rich-guy's shoulder. Maintain distance when a picture is being clicked. Tomorrow, everyone of us will have a family and it is going to be too hard to explain your relationship with every person you met in life if you'll have images with them in almost all the folders you have in the disk. You can not even delete them because you got it clicked to keep it as MEMORIES. And I have also told you how the things remain in our memory which are close to us by giving the example of my 2 ex-girlfriends and that friend's mothers scene. 


             On many porn sites(Yes, I do visit them sometimes), I have seen that the girlfriend and boyfriend has made a video of their love-making scene and it is on Internet now. I don't know how these girls live after this video is being circulated everywhere in the world. I have no idea. Seriously. Take an instance, if you know that your partner has been in relation for 3 times before ceasing on you. For once you can be fine, but what if he/she has love-making videos on Internet with all those ex-partners? Just imagine. How hard it will be to accept. So, its upon you to decide how you want to get your picture clicked. Don't do all these things purposely just for being ostentatious and showing-off to others on Social Networking sites. Please, grow up now. 


     Said all I wanted to. Now don't ask me to grow up and take these things positively. I can't. And in this case, no one can.


   Thanks.


 ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU

10 CoMMenTs !!! - U CaN aLSo CoMMenT !!!:

vinay said...

Even I hate such desperate-for-snap people..They go out somewhere, instead of enjoying in real they pretend to enjoy in pics...they have some kid at home(maybe relative's or neighbor's) instead of playing with the child they would click the pics and share on FB with that stupid words and phrases like so cute......
Anyways a good post and nice message...

Anonymous said...

well said abhilash...memories should be in brain..even there was a tym i was desperate for clicking pics..but i realised it when could not click pics on a trip nd still having the momories alive in front of my eyes of that trip....
nd yes keeping distance in pics is always necessary..one should always remember this thing..
so once again a nice blog...keep it up..
-swati

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Yes Vinay, these people are really irritating.

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Thanks Swati for understanding what I wanted to convey.

Anamika said...

Yet again a thoughtful post...sensible n serious...it is something to think upon...

Prerna Subramanian said...

Serious issue dealt with amazing simplicity! Very nice!

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Yes Anamika, I wanted to say this from a very long time. Finally done. :-)

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Thanks Prerna.

mohit ruhela said...

"Tomorrow, everyone of us will have a family and it is going to be too hard to explain your relationship with every person you met in life if you'll have images with them in almost all the folders you have in the disk."...a thoughtful line to be remembered prior to click any snap...

Mohit Ruhela

AbhiLaSH RuHeLa said...

Yes Mohit it is. Snaps should be clicked with a great responsibility.

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