948th BLOG POST -->>
Since childhood, whenever my friends come to my home to play or to stay or to interact and see me using words like "dijiye", "kijiye","dekhiye" etc while talking to my mother and father, they say,"Abbe tu itni ijjat se baat karta hai?" When I was small, I never observed how my friends talked with their parents but after 9th std or something when I started realizing what's going around me, I got astonished to hear words like "karo","do","dekho" etc from my friends' mouth for the elders and even their parents. It will take me 100 births before I can say karo, maro, dekho, do, lo etc to any of my elders. Even when I talk to an elder shopkeeper, I make it sure that I talk with same respect that I give my parents while talking. Certain respectability has to be maintained in our posture, gesture, ascent, talks, conversations, writings etc. Not for anyone else but for our own good.
I was chatting with my grand father when I was in 7th std. I asked him,"Dadaji, jab Swati didi mujhse sirf 4.5 months badi hain toh bhi main unko Didi kyon bulata hoon?" And he said politely,"Beta, my 2 cousins are just a day elder than me still I call then bhaiya and didi. Remember the only fact in life. Anyone who's age is more than you even by a second, he/she will have to be referred as Bhaiya, didi and you'll use "aap" for them." I asked him that for whom is "tum" made then? He said,"It's for friend who are your classmates since childhood or from last 2-3 years. When friendship gets close, you start using "Tum" but still your first sentence with them should begin with "Aap" while introduction". I got confused and asked,"Then for whom is "Tu" used for?" Dadaji smiled and said,"Beta, I don't know. There's no one in my life for whom I use "Tu". Even for all of you, my grandchildren, I use "tum" and not "tu". It's like you are referring some animal and abusing him". I said,"But all my friends and I call each other referring "Tu" only". He said,"Start improving yourself, beta. Let people call you "tu" but you keep referring them as "Aap" or atmost "Tum".
Since then, I have been improving myself and I have no elder whom I refer as TUM or TU. I also refer many of my friends as TUM. There are some close people whom I do call TU but I make sure that I occasionally call them using the respected words so that I can shift to it gradually. But I am seriously unhappy with many youngsters uing language that is so rough and disrespectful. Leave anything else but I have people in my knowledge who even refer to their Mom and Dad as "TU". I don't know what kind of sanskar has been given to them but this is something that is not digestible to me. I make sure that I don't talk to such people much because you don't realize when you adopt their style of speech. I went with a friend to help him buy a DVD player and I heard him speak to his mother like "Tujhe pasand hai na?" "Tu haan bolegi toh main le lunga" etc. For the whole time and even after the purchase, I was in such an angry mood that I asked him for a break. I went to his home the next day for installing the player.
Even when the gap between siblings is of almost 7-10 years, the younger one does not shy in calling his elder brother/sister directly by their name. Well, I won't blame sanskar wholly as not everything that our parents guide us is what we do. We should ourselves know what is right and what wrong. Some things are actually meant to be learnt ourselves. Mom and Dad are there only up to teenage. After 18, its we, who are responsible for what we do and behave like. I know you have a solid reason that it has become your habit since childhood hence its hard to change the tone now. Well, you never had boyfriend/girlfriend since childhood but after a time, you started shifting from one to another, right? Then why not shift your speech and attitude? Does it look good when Deepika, Anushka, Priyanka etc calls Shahrukh Khan using his name without adding any prefix or suffix? They are half of his age but still continue speaking as if he's their childhood buddy. Come on. It's time we should at least respect our parents and refer them only with AAP and *-iye ending words. To our elder brothers and sisters and cousins, let's make sure that we add bhaiyya or didi in the end.
P.S.: A strange thing is that the same people who call their parents using TU use AAP for other elders. The same people who take name of their elder siblings call their cousins or elder boys/girls of the society as bhaiyya and didi. Huh! These people need reality check. Where's the respect in the language, people? Bring it on or else don't feel bad if a good person rejects talking to you one day just because of your speech. That's all.