Tuesday, 17 June 2014 | By: AbhiLaSH RuHeLa

PARENTING is difficult but indeed, a POSSIBLE JOB!!!

1093rd BLOG POST -->>

     
     I am very naive to talk on "parenting" but I think being the only child of my parents, I have seen very closely how my parents worked upon me since my birth. There is a general attitude of every parent or would-be parent in India that they will make their child do almost every thing that they were unable to do because of less money or facilities. This is quite wrong because a child ends up doing those things in which his parent's interests lies but not his. But sometimes, even when this way is quite autocratic in its own sense, is the most favorable way of making a child do something. Some children are smart, witty and intellectual since their infant days itself. Parents observe and understand that and start giving them the perfect direction so that such talent does not get waste. But they keep asking their child what they want to be in life as soon as they start speaking because they know if such intelligent child has his own interest in something, he will also create something good in that profession.

          Some children are not that fast and quick in their childhood. They tend to show lazy attitude and run away from important things and work. Such children need better attention. I have lived with 2 kids for 15 days recently. One was in 3rd std and other in 7th. I was surprised to see the childishness they still had. The girl in 7th std still runs in garden to play on slides and swings. I gave both of them the children magazine "Chandamama" which I used to read in my school days. Both of them threw the book away from themselves whenever they found that I wasn't around them. The boy studying in class 3rd does not know how to refer dictionary. He does not know if a story is also needed to be understood than only being read. I asked him to explain me 3 short stories out of many books that I gave him. 15 days passed, he is back his home, but I didn't get the answer to my question. That's how he has been developed.

          Many of my classmates proudly say that they don't even remember if they ever read any story book since they became enough grown to interpret and remember things. They only remember themselves completing their homework and running out to play with their friends. One boy who lived in my neighborhood used to watch CID once he was back from school till the time he wasn't forced to sleep. That was all his parents were making him do without objecting to what he desired to do. A very close friend residing in Mumbai itself, their son never greeted even my father and mother with "Namastey" or by touching their feet while he used to see me doing this with his parents. Never ever I found even his parents forcing to respect elders when at home.

           Similarly, I find a friend of mine referring her mom with "Tu". I have also seen many other people doing the same. The 5-10 years younger siblings end up calling their elder brother/sister with name without adding "Bhaiyya" or "Didi" after the name. In my family, even when my elder cousin sister is just 4.5 months older to me, I call her "Didi" and never ever took her name even while talking about her with someone. If children aren't getting manners themselves, its the job of parents to bring under their notice what's wrong and what's right. My parents still keep nudging and elbowing me every now and then if they find that I am going off track or doing something that's not appropriate for me.

           Never asking your children to shut down the TV will make them do the same all life. Don't try once the time is out and they stop listening to you. 

           Never asking your children to read good books and making them read good books forcibly is under developing them. World is full of competition and you are just making your child never be in the elite group. 

            You never slap your child considering that he/she was born after a long time of your marriage is equivalent to not having child. Because having an ill-mannered, egoistic and shameless child is like having no child at all.

           If you never ask your children to stay in limits in front of their elders or at someone else' house, you are preparing for being targeted as the most careless parents once few more years passes. 

         If breakfast, lunch and dinner at your home is prepared after getting an approval from your child if he likes to eat it or not, you are preparing a child who will always neglect food at home or other's home whenever offered something. 

              Once your child grows up, he grows up. You don't have a rewind button to press and get one more opportunity to raise your child in the right direction. You will end up making him/her as one of the most indecent children in your society. You will always have to hang your head in shame in front of people for petty acts that your child shall do considering it to be normal or obvious while it's unacceptable in society. Even if your child will be entering a room where all the elders would be sitting and he passes without acknowledging or greeting anyone, you will feel ashamed when all the elders will pass on bad looks towards your child and you. 

           Seeing such not-well-parented children around me, I have seriously started adoring my parent's slaps and thrashes in childhood because now I understand how their fear controlled me and made me understand what's good and what's not. Enough has been done by my parents to make it sure that I don't behave improperly anywhere I go. The attitude of always picking up good books and reading, avoiding television and watching sports all day all night, respecting elders and giving them time once they are at home and making it sure that I have respectful language when I speak even with people younger to me is what has been imbibed in me by my parents for which I shall always be in debt to them. I can earn money, property and luxury but the respect that I shall always get for these seeming-to-be-petty things will always be a result of appreciation for my parents. I wish all the parents of this generation, at least, do not take such petty things casually and give enough time to their kids. Hope you, yes, YOU, develop your child with best of the attitudes and make sure that he looks the most decent, well-spoken and disciplined child among his peers. 

 Thanks.

 ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU!!!

2 CoMMenTs !!! - U CaN aLSo CoMMenT !!!:

Snehal said...

While reading this post, I thought I am in a class and some stern professor is giving me a lecture!

meenakshi chaudhary said...

very right abhilash
I m mom of a girl of 4 years.
And i m surrounded by the kind of parents u r talking about.recently i hv started questioning myself tht am i being too strict mom,by fixing time fr tv n studies..making her eat every kind of food,greeting all,we both address her by aap..so does she..
I hv thousands of books..i read stories to her she too young to read n yes she is a child different thn others.
She doesn't fit in so called lovingly nurtured kids..
Mujhe lgane lga tha k kahin main galti to nhi kar rhi
Bt after reading you i m relaxed..if my girl is different.. she is different fr good.
Thanks boy

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