Tuesday, 27 October 2015 | By: AbhiLaSH RuHeLa

The Difference between BEING LONELY and BEING ALONE!!!

1349th BLOG POST -->>


       Most often, I like to spend time with myself. I do not meet with many people. Even the people who want to meet me are being avoided intentionally. I become emotionless towards the emotion that few great people have for me. I avoid people and as soon as I realize that someone wants to spend time with me, I start feeling awkward right from the first moment of this realization. It is tough for me to understand the quality time that people talk about. I do not understand the concept of quality time when you are meeting the same person or set of people almost twice-thrice in a week. I mean how is it quality then? It's more quantitative. Isn't it? I feel the best moment that I have had in life when I got to understand the deep meaning of philosophy that these legendary literati write in their epic books only when I have been all alone in my bedroom concentrating with best of my abilities towards something that I have always wanted to have. 

            Most people fail to understand my lifestyle. Earlier they used to call me psycho but later on, when they saw many other people advocating the same, they stopped calling me names but still they find no problem in calling me weird in front of me. They find it funny and nonsense that someone does not get that urge to meet his friends when he hears of some kind of hang-out or trip taking place. They are unable to decipher how does one passes an evening without moving out of his bedroom and having a walk with his friends and sharing all the naughty things they imagined about throughout the day. Hence, many of them have started calling me LONELY. Well, you call me psycho, weird, silly, idiot, stupid, asshole. It does not hurt. But being subscribed to the word- LONELY is quite hurtful and unacceptable. 

            There's a big difference between choosing to stay ALONE and being LONELY. I am from the former category where I have immense opportunity to meet with people, keep talking for hours and come back home after midnight, drop my bag, change my cloth and directly lie on bed for a peaceful sleep so that I can charge for the same routine again. May be this could be the lifestyle of few people and they might be finding it to be very successful in letting them forget their worrisome history or unstable present or dark future. But for me, whenever I am spending hours with people regularly, I find myself losing many precious hours and days and months and I find myself a worthless creature on this planet whose existence is of no importance to the society. 

             I am not saying that otherwise I am modern Gandhi who is enlightening the soul of this new generation and building up a force which will take India towards development but at least I find that quote quite effective and true which says of being the change you want to see in the world. By doing that, at least we find the world around ourselves nearly perfect and the source of frustration reduces and you start seeing positivism all around. Only by staying alone, Gautama Buddha reached the stage of nirvana. Only by staying alone did Gandhi decide of various movements that resulted in people coming together in strength against dictators. Only in isolation did Arnold build the physique that no one ever imagined him with. Graham Bell, Thomas Alva Edison, Newton, Steve Jobs, APJ Abdul Kalam etc are other great examples who created something that changed world only when they chose to stay away from the chaos. 

             Coming to the modern example, Shahrukh Khan, the superstar, himself says that in the first two decades of his career, the kind of spotlight under which he lived, he kept meeting, socializing and partying with so many people that he lost the person he was before entering the industry. Because he couldn't understand what he was and what he wanted from life, he started getting frustrated from life which resulted in Shirish Kunder-slap, Wankhede-brawl, Salman Khan-fight etc. Only after such incidents he decided to find himself back and the only one option that he found was of stopping to meet people without reasons and spend as much time as possible in isolation with himself. The result of which, he says, is that he feels very peaceful and matured now. And he is very confident about not doing those unwanted stuffs and humiliating himself more than anyone else. 

             When such big legends have found that ONE reason which made them an immortal personality by practicing something, I don't find any reason to sit with people, crack jokes, laugh on their jokes, plan about some trip, gossip about some friend and finally end up spending my whole weekend in executing that trip and then again talking everyday for the next one week of the funny things that happened during the trip. This is just not my idea of living life. And I am happy that I have learnt to isolate myself from people from last 6 years and I still don't feel bad or sad when I see my classmates sharing their selfies on Facebook and checking in at some wonderful place. I believe that I have found whatever little bit I am after I started spending time with myself with a small diary that I write and by doing things that I feel was good to bring ray of light in the big tunnel of future which always looks dark without any efforts towards breaking and finding a way out of it.

              Lonely is the person who feels isolated even when he is in a group of people. In a party, you will always find a person sitting alone somewhere in the corner looking in his mobile to avoid awkwardness- That person is lonely. Once, I used to be that but it's a long time back. Now, I make sure that whenever I am out for party or trip even if it's once in three years, I am there with the people and making the most of the moment. This is the reason why few people want to spend time with me because whenever I do, I try to give them one of their best times by cracking jokes and talking about things no one else will talk with them. That's not lonely, right? But when I chose to stay alone, it is for self-development and self-realization which is equally important in life as having education and earning money. Do it and you will also enter that part of yourself whom you had never met before even when it always walked with you wherever you went. :)

 Thanks.

 ABHILASH RUHELA - VEERU!!! 

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